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Blaming Others For Your Unhappiness

  It is far easier to put the blame on someone else when things go wrong. You can blame your boss for how miserable your job is. You can blame your teacher for your inability to understand the lesson. You can blame your romantic partner for your failing relationship. You can blame your parents for your emotional struggles. And you can even blame the government for the poverty that you suffer. It actually makes you feel much better when you find fault in others, because placing the blame on yourself opens you up to feelings of regret, guilt and even shame. Doing so makes you focus on your own flaws and mistakes. And this may allow feelings of worthlessness to set in. But blaming others for your problems does not solve them. It only adds bitterness to your already miserable state. And by believing that others are at fault for your troubles removes your ability to take control of the situation. It renders you helpless and paralyzes you into simply accepting things as they are. In effe...

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The Art of Motivating People to Action

  Talk about 4 things. Justification:  we make a judgment that we have been wronged, hence we need to retaliate. If we think about it, we have justified each of our actions (or inaction). Sometimes we say it was necessary or unavoidable. Sometimes, we assume an impact which may or may not really happen. Alternatives:  typically, violence seems to be the only alternative. This comes out of a lack of emotional control, where we are so much into the emotion that we cannot perceive any other option. Consequences:  whether we can live with the consequences of the act. In fact, if we are afraid of further retaliation, we may not act. Ability:  do we have the confidence to use our body or a substitute (knife, gun or another person) to achieve the results. When we talk about motivating others, the justification is the end result (either we want to avoid the pain or go towards pleasure) or what we want to get the person to do. How we achieve the end result, are our ...